Thursday, March 12, 2009

I'm getting a little nervous

***bbgaaakkk***

I'm starting to turn chicken. I'm getting nervous. Scared really.

It's comforting to read successful artists who have fear. And fight their fear.

These are some of the most inspiring blogs I absolutely adore reading. These are must-reads when I need something pretty to look at and something inspiring to think about.

  • Kelly Rae, I love her inspiration and how she has been working to overcome and live with her uncomfortable feelings.
  • My most favorite blog, The Noisy Plume. She writes in poetry and prose all the time and makes gorgeous silver jewelry. And she's successful. And she still has fear.

In spite on knowing that being scared is normal: when you're launching, when you're in the middle of success, when you're changing, when you're putting you're work out there. I know I should expect it. And I do feel scared. I'm scared of putting my work out there. I'm scared it won't be good enough. I'm scared it's too quirky. I'm scared of being weird and annoying. I'm afraid of online stalkers.

I'm also scared of success. While I haven’t tended to and grown my internet business into a successful, productive endeavor (yet), I get a pleasant buzz of excitement from IRL (In Real Life) people for my work. And things were starting to lift off on the internet when I had to put everything on hold for my move to Hong Kong. I get custom orders. Which is exciting! I'm just scared I won't be able to keep up!

When I consider the question, "What would you do if money wasn't an object?" Well, this is it. I don't do jewelry for the money. I do it because I thoroughly enjoy making jewelry, need the creative outlet, and end up sharing what I love. I’m able to understand techniques and explain them to the end consumer which helps increase their appreciation for handmade jewelry. I am also able to share little bits and pieces of what I learn about some of the technical aspects of running a small business with fellow artists and have a unique perspective as a project manager in my day job.

I don't know if I want to make it my full-time job. I’ve seriously given the subject some thought and crunched the numbers. A few factors play into my decision to keep this part-time. I actually like the intersection of my day job and my creative outlet. Also, because I want to always enjoy doing jewelry, I don't want to be driven by the need to make a living off of it. (And, it’s a tough economy to be doing something that falls into an “extra.”) While it's a necessity for me to create, an emotional release, it just falls to the bottom in my pile-o'-tasks and will be the first thing to get dropped when life is busy.

****bgak, bgk, bgk, bgk****

Swallowing the fear.

If you've been hanging out here, lately, don't forget to move over to the new blog: Kanna Glass Studios.

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